Reclaiming Voice. Rebuilding Self.

 

Returning home Collective assissts common challenges many people face while healing from attachment wounds, trauma bonds, abandonment fears, toxic relationships, love addiction, and the journey of rebuilding self-worth and healthy boundaries.

 

 

 

At thirteen years old,
I sat alone on a rock by the creek,
looking up at the stars,
certain that somewhere out there,
someone existed who would finally make me feel
safe,
loved,
seen.

I did not yet understand
that the longing itself
would become the blueprint
for the next thirty years of my life.

— Awakening From The Spell

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Returning Home Collective

A place dedicated to healing attachment wounds, recovering from trauma bonds, developing discernment, and rebuilding a life rooted in self-worth, purpose, and authenticity.

My memoir, Awakening from the Spell: Healing the Attachment Wound, shares my personal journey through addiction, abandonment wounds, toxic relationships, recovery, and transformation.

This is only the beginning. Future offerings will include resources, tools, courses, fairy tales, community support, and guidance designed to help others find their way back to themselves.

Welcome to the Garden.

Educational & Support Disclaimer

Returning Home Collective provides educational content and peer-informed support grounded in lived experience, recovery principles, and trauma-informed frameworks. This work is not therapy and does not provide medical, psychological, or legal diagnosis or treatment. It is not a substitute for licensed professional care. Participants are encouraged to seek professional support when needed and use this material as a complement to their own healing journey.

Being Desired vs. Being Loved

One of the biggest things I’ve learned about love is that being desired is not the same thing as being loved.

Someone can be incredibly attracted to you. They can pursue you, want you, compliment you, be jealous over you, want access to your body and your attention—and none of those things necessarily mean they know how to love you.

Because desire and love are asking different things.

Desire often says, “I want you.”

Love says, “I care about you.”

Desire can be about how you make another person feel. Love requires the ability to consider how their behavior makes you feel.

And I think this distinction becomes especially important for those of us who learned somewhere along the way to associate being chosen with being valuable.

When someone strongly desires you, you can feel beautiful. Important. Special. Chosen.

But what happens when you’re not at your most desirable?

What happens when you’re struggling financially?

When you’re aging?

When you’re grieving?

When you’ve made mistakes?

When you’re trying to heal something that isn’t pretty?

When you have to tell someone about a chapter of your life that you’re ashamed of?

That’s where I’ve discovered another dimension of love:

Love makes room for your humanity.

And when I say humanity, I don’t mean that loving someone requires tolerating harmful behavior.

Love can have boundaries.

Love can say no.

Love can even say, I cannot continue this relationship.

Honoring someone’s humanity simply means that their imperfections don’t make them less worthy of dignity.

You don’t have to be beautiful that day.

You don’t have to have your finances together.

You don’t have to have healed everything.

You don’t have to hide the embarrassing chapter.

You don’t have to perform strength so somebody continues to value you.

You are allowed to be a complicated, unfinished human being.

Maybe that is part of what I finally found love to be:

Not being adored at my most desirable, but being allowed to remain fully human when I wasn’t.

Because desire may ask us to be appealing.

Love makes room for our humanity.

 

Character requires time because you need opportunities to observe someone under different conditions: when they’re disappointed, when you tell them no, when they’re broke, when you have something they want, when you’re successful, when you’re struggling, and when helping you becomes inconvenient.

Attention isn’t necessarily love; desire isn’t necessarily love; what matters is evidence of care when care becomes inconvenient.

In this space, we share inspiration, tips, and stories that help you get the most out of our services. Whether you're looking for helpful tips, background information, or a behind-the-scenes look: you'll find it all here. We regularly post new articles, so keep an eye on the blog for updates and new insights.